Falling into Myself
by Lost-Remembrance
Summary: Trickery leads Heero to run away from Relena, thinking she hates him for past mistakes. But the question isdoes she? 1XR [discontinued]
1. Chapter 1

Falling into Myself

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing or any of it's characters. Also, it would be a big help for people who read this to tell me if it should be a Relena or a Silvia fic, because I really don't know.... Mnemosyn

Introduction

"Relena?" Heero asked with confusion obvious as she moved closer to him, her hand around his waist and n his shoulder as she drew him closer, her eyes closed.

Her baby blue eyes flashed open and she dragged him out to the balcony, the memories from when she had found something out about his past flooding back.

"Why did you kill her?" She asked with disgust riddling her tone of voice.

Heero stared at her. He knew this would happen, that one day she would find out about the little girl and her dog.

About the town he had demolished.

The look in her features and everything was unbearable She couldn't even look at him as she turned her head away, her eyes squeezed shut.

"Were you going to kill me like you did to her?" The sudden sound of her voice like this brought his thoughts to an abrupt halt.

"No—"He stopped when Relena turned away from him, telling him that she never wanted to see him again.

Duo and his odd plans of bringing them together never did turn out all right most of the time, but this was by far the worst. His already fragile and nearly opened up feeling crumbled in an instant. Shatter into many pieces like a broken mirror.

He turned, Relena facing the doors with a disgusted look on her face as she looked at the party before her, and ran, jumping off the ledge.

Chapter One:

Why was he being so foolish? He berated himself mentally until he stopped in an abandoned warehouse. He didn't even notice the shadow tailing him all the way.

He flung open the door, rain starting to pour, soaking his through as he sluggishly walked in.

The darkness swallowed him. Had he forgotten that he anyone that came close to him ended up hurting him or he them? It slipped his mind so easily when he thought he had friends.

Friends? Was that what he thought of them. 'No.' He thought. 'They were useful for my missions, but now I know they don't need me.' He thought and closed his eyes before opening them to hear a voice calling to him.

"You don't want to be alone anymore do you?" A soothing voice questioned, touching his broken soul and mending two small broken pieces.

Heero didn't answer. He was torn two ways. He closed his eyes, feeling arms wrap around his shoulder. He had a vague feeling of which it was.

Silvia, a daughter of Peace Marshall Noventa whom had fallen in love with him when she first laid eyes on him, and unlike Relena she wanted him to be happy, even if it didn't involve her in his life.

She never chased. Except this time. She knew he was broken, the words that were so blunt to others hit him as sharply as a knife, she could tell.

His silence even proved for more to this fact. She let her arms drag him into a hug as she leaned her head gently on his shoulder, drawing herself closer until she could feel his heartbeat.

"I don't want you to be hurt any more. Come away with me." She whispered to her young soldier, which had stolen her heart away.

Heero closed his eyes and relaxed against her, his sore muscles not being so sore anymore. Something told him something was wrong about all this, but everything was wrong in his life. What would one mistake like this mean?

He could stay with her and she would mend him possibly so that he could forget her, Relena.

"Let me help you, let me mend your broken soul," She whispered into his ear as she dragged him up to his feet, he followed into the pouring night, following her though he had no clue where he was going.

Th rain didn't sting so much with her around...

"Relena?!" Trowa shouted, quite surprised when he saw her tied up form in the coat closet. He had just seen Relena walk by, greeting her less than two seconds ago.

She let out mumbled uncaught words through the cloth gag in her mouth, writhing against the bonds that bound her.

"Tro--ugh!" Relena muffled out, trying to call out his name and break the seemingly trance he was caught in.

Trowa stared at her, his jade green eye and his brown hair hiding his other eye behind a mask of bangs. He shook his head to clear his mind and slowed his racing heart.

That meant. He rushed over to her and asked her questions only she would know and dragged her to her feet, rushing out of the room to find the imposter.

Heero followed Silvia, her hair flying as she laughed in the rain, a small smile formed on his lips also as he followed her, she headed to the swings on the playground, skidding on the wet ground, tripping. Heero caught her and they looked into each other's eyes as Silvia moved in for a kiss.

Her eyes were closed as her face moved closer, inch by inch, to his face to steal a small kiss from him. He jerked away, a blush on his features. "I-I'm sorry...I can't—"He said looking away.

"Yes, I'm sorry." She said, drawing him into a hug, the to be kiss long forgotten. "I shouldn't have tried so soon" She whispered as she walked over with him to the slide, her wet dress trailing behind her a bit.

A smile formed onto their lips, as they both played in the rain like children. All worries washing away from both of their bodies with the rain.

Duo glared at the imposter Relena who had a cosmetic make over to look identical to the young pacifist. "What did you say to him?" The person grinned evilly. A growing pit of fear resided in his gut. Though the reckless Japanese pilot didn't admit it, he cared for Relena; anything she said that could break even the slightest trust he felt for someone would tear him from the world.

"Oh, you should have seen the look on his face." The fake Relena, who we shall call Lena since it will get confusing with two. Duo's head hurt. Too much thinking can do that.

"What did you tell him?" Relena fiercely asked, dreading what she might say.

"You see, I did a little research on his past and found something...something that's haunting him." She said slyly.

"He murdered a young girl by accident in a mission, and he blames himself. You should have seen how he acted when he found out you knew." Lena said, looking at the real Relena.

She gasped. Heero would think that she hated him and then, who knows what he would do?! Of course she never thought he had feelings for her, but this was cruel!

"He ran off, haven't seen him since. The look in his eyesâ€priceless." She said wickedly, letting out a maniac's type of laugh.

"You evil—"Duo shouted, griping the woman as the door was flung open.

"What is going on in—"Milliardo, Relena's over-possessive sister looked at him while the other did the same. Two Relena's?! What the hell was going on?!

The other two Gundam pilots, Quatre Winner and Chang Wufei appeared next to him with his 'girlfriend' Noin. They all gasped too. Milliardo managed to bottle his anger and wait for an explanation.

"Get in and close the door!" Duo hissed, not removing his grip from the fake Relena, Lena. "Well?" He said with impatience.

They followed his command and closed the door after all of them had stepped inside the room.

"This wench," Duo looked at the teenager Lena who smiled at this wickedly. "She played an imposter and tricked someone." He hissed. Trowa remained silent in a corner, but the others knew it wasn't him that was tricked. They had no clue just who it was.

"Who?" Noin asked, hoping it wasn't one of the delegates from the colonies, that would cause a disaster, utter chaos.

Duo took a deep breath. "It was Heero." He managed out in front of his friends. They all let out a smile gasp and Lena smiled wickedly, chuckles coming from her.

"Well, it's so nice to know all of you care for him!" She laughed. "If you had seen the look on his face, the look in his eyes. Priceless! If only I had a Kodak camera to capture that moment!"

A deep silence filled the air as Lena talked about that moment, the others staring dumbfounded. "I haven't seen him since and wouldn't be surprised if I never will!" She laughed, Relena stared at her through tears: she knew what this meant. It might even already be too late!

"We have to find him!" Noin said sternly, worry hidden behind her soldier backbone. "It might already be to late." She took the words right of Relena's mouth.

"Hurry!" Milliardo ordered the Gundam Pilot, and for Trowa (who was the only one without an impulse to kill the girl...yet) to stay behind and watch over her. They all rushed out of the room.

Heero and Silvia sat on the swings, looking at the raining sky, letting the raindrops wash over their face. They swung their swings for a while, until Silvia stopped and surprised Heero by jumping onto his lap when he was still swinging.

She was smiling with pure happiness that made Heero look at her with a small smile. "What do ya say we go get some hot chocolate after this?"

"All right." Heero said, thinking that was a perfect idea.

"Your place or mine?" She asked, leaning back onto her chest while her legs moved in rhythm with his to keep the swing moving.

Heero didn't know what to say; but did it matter? A house with hot chocolate was just a house.

"Well, I guess you'll let me decide right?" Silva asked. Heero nodded, 'might as well' he thought. "All right, we can go to yours, it isn't far off is it?"

"Yeah, it's not that far." She relaxed onto his thin frame, fitting perfectly with her own thin and petite frame. The rain continued coming down as they continued swinging on the swing.

Silvia looked at Heero, who had his eyes closed and leaned in to kiss his forehead, cheek, chin, other cheek, and then his forehead again. Heero's eyes opened on first contact with the kiss. Silvia smiled.

"What was that for?" He questioned.

"It's my circle of protection." Silvia said, pulling him off the barely moving swing. He looked at her, quite confused but masked it easily.

"A circle of protection?" He questioned.

"It will keep you safe from harm when I'm not here, but now I'll always be with this." She traced the imaginary circle the kisses formed.

Heero smiled slightly. He felt he rain wash over him in his already soaking clothes. He felt lightheaded and the cold was getting to him, but Silvia was warmer than him and his lips ere blue and he felt all warmth from her fade ad his eyes fell a little bit.

He looked up, feeling another's presence and stumbled out of Silvia's grip, she spun around to see what had interrupted him and came face to face with Relena, who was standing about ten feet away, staring at them with wide eyes.

Heero felt himself die again when h looked at her face, remembering the way that she looked at him, the blame that she held for him. The accusing look. He spun on his heel and he turned and ran off. He heard Silvia call to him but he ignored it, much to his dismay.

The raindrops mingled with his salty tears, ones he hadn't cried in a long time.

Silvia glared at Relena, her soaked dress showing every curve of her petite body. "Haven't you already caused him enough pain, why are you hear?!" She found herself yelling, seeing more people rush up. The former Gundam pilots, minus Trowa Barton, Miss Noin and Milliardo were also present.

She still had Heero's draped tuxedo coat draped over her shoulders to keep him warm. "Where's Heero?" Milliardo asked in a cold voice.

"None of your business, why are you here?!" Silvia snapped. "Come to get a laugh, huh?" She snarled at them. They were shocked. Why would she say such a thing to them? They were his friends.

"We just want to know where Heero is." Relena said calmly, her voice betraying her. Heero had run away from her, the expression of a broken heart and pained look on his face stopped her from chasing after him. "This is all a misunderstanding."

"Yes, Relena. This is a misunderstanding. You see, you were suppose to make him feel human, he's so lost now!" Silvia said with sorrow for the young pilot. He had been through so much for so long, tortured in the shadows so no on else would know his pain. "He doesn't need you anymore. He can't even look at you know, and I'm surprised you even came looking for him, I saw the whole thing from the balcony! Don't play dumb with me." She hissed with cold venom dripping from her words.

"But—"Relena started to protest.

"Just go, all of you." She demanded, running off in the direction Heero had run off in. "He doesn't need you in his life anymore now that he has me!" She threw over her shoulder as it echoed in the nearly deserted streets.

They stood there, watching in a trance-like state for a moment. The other former Gundam pilots looked at one another. Now what we they going to do? They all sighed, and took off running again to follow Silvia.

She ran, her soaking hair flying behind her. "Heero!" She called, not paying attention for anything but movement in her surroundings. She had to find him.

She saw a shadow, carefully hidden behind a bush that would be invisible from any other view. It was leaned up against a tree that was extremely large.

"Heero!" He looked up at her from his arms that his head leaned up against, curled into almost a ball.

"Silvia?" His voice showed his exhaustion. 'W-why was I thinking... hoping... it was going to be R-relena?' She rushed to his side, drawing his arm over her shoulder. He was freezing to the touch. She ran off, dragging him with her, she had to get him to his house.

No matter what, before he caught a cold or even worse pneumonia.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

"Silvia?" Heero blinked in surprise. 'How did I end up here?' They were in his apartment, the air warm unlike the cold that surrounded the apartment complex.

'Where's Relena?' His mind questioned with haste. Even though she hurt him, he couldn't get her out of his life, even with Silvia here.

"Heero..." Silvia said, getting out of her spot of the couch to come closer to him, wearing a white t-shirt and some baggy pants she found. "You're awake, I'm glad." A smile overcame her features, lighting up the room seemingly.

"Where is—"She broke him off with a mug of hot chocolate in his hands.

'Don't say it!' Her mind pleaded. 'Don't say her name!'

"Where is Relena?" Heero asked, not hearing her silent pleads.

"Do you want her instead of me?"

"I don't want anyone."

"Then..." She looked at him with a silent plead in her eyes to say her name like that instead of Relena's. To have all his thoughts on her and what they could share together. "Why?" She choked almost.

"I made a promise, once long ago." He told her, looking at the cup of hot chocolate. "I swore I would protect her, no matter what,"

"I see..." Silvia said, not clearly understanding the whole situation. "What about yourself?"

"I stayed alive to protect her." Heero told her. "I rarely got hurt in the process of protecting her, so I watched over myself too. Nothing could hurt me, unless I was strongly distracted."

"Even her?"

"What?" Heero looked at Silvia, the tone she used to say that didn't seem real. It was so cold, so hateful having not been able to even say her name she hated thinking of her so much.

"I said, even her." She repeated with utmost loathing for the blonde haired angel with blue eyes. "Could you protect yourself from even her?"

Heero remained silent and Silvia took a sip of her drink and moved closer to him. She had won round one, but Heero wouldn't give up so easily.

"You can't go back to her now without explaining what happened to the other pilots."

Heero's eyes widened a little bit. 'The other pilots,' He thought. 'Do they know about what happened?' He couldn't handle all of them knowing about the little girl, knowing how they would hate him for murdering someone as innocent as a child.

'What will they do?' He thought absentmindedly.


	3. Chapter 3

Warning: Nothing is as it seems in this story (which is currently a 1XR fic).

Last time:

"You can't go back to her now without explaining what happened to the other pilots."

Heero's eyes widened a little bit. 'The other pilots,' He thought. 'Do they know about what happened?' He couldn't handle all of them knowing about the little girl, knowing how they would hate him for murdering someone as innocent as a child.

'What will they do?' He thought absentmindedly.

Chapter Three:

The television had a little static; the raging storm outside threatening to snap the power cables which would send both Heero and Sylvia plunging into darkness. "This is Chad Scent and I'm reporting live for W6.5 News Station." He shouted at the camera over the raging winds as the news anchor 's switch over to a live camera. "Currently, the weather out here is very dangerous and many are urged to stay indoors. The temperatures are very freezing and many have already been sent to hospitals due to pneumonia. We strong urge people to stay off the roads due to massive flooding and accidents. The typhoon should break through in a couple of days, maybe more."

"Thank you Chad," A young anchorwoman said as it switched back to the newscaster. "The typhoon is slowly growing in size and—"The TV was shut off by the remote control.

Sylvia grinned as she tossed the remote to the other side of the room. 'So that's why we are getting so much rain.' Heero's mind thought glumly. 'At least I'm high off the ground up here.' Truth be told; his apartment was on the second story, high enough not to get flooded.

"Heero," Sylvia cooed to her precious love as she bent over him and placed her hand lightly on her forehead. She smiled a little bit. "It looks like your still running a fever, I should go and get some more medicine."

Heero stared at her before sinking back down into the plush couch he was laying on. He sighed heavily. "So much for the hot chocolate." He muttered, though deep down he wished it were he and Relena sharing hot chocolate together right about now. He just couldn't hate her.

"It's all right," Sylvia said to him as she bent down, practically throwing herself to him as she picked up something she "accidentally" dropped, showing her now dry skintight jeans that were hip-huggers. She was still wearing a really big T-shirt of Heero's though.

He wasn't even interested it seemed. She muttered, unable for even the perfect soldier to hear and bent back up. "I'll arrange for a car to come and pick us up."

"No, really... I'm fine here." Heero protested back to the young infatuated teenager.

"Nonsense." She argued back. "We have better medical facilities, it'll be better for your health." She told him sweetly.

"But—"Heero began to protest as he sat up and stared at the girl that dared defy him. If he wanted to stay here, what was the problem with that?!

"No but's." She scolded him like a mother would a child. She leaned down and stared into his cold eyes as she took in ever inch of his godlike features. She took a sharp intake of breath as she let her emotions get the better of her.

Heero's eyes widened when he realized his lips were met with those of Sylvia. Shock filled him along with anger. Who said she could kiss him like this?! Only she, R--... His thoughts were broken off as she became more forceful with him and in his fevered state, that wasn't a very good thing at all.

He grunted as he pushed her off of him as he caught the look of lust in her eyes. One minute they were glaring at one another like two friends arguing over the last slice of pie and then the next...well, Heero didn't really know what happened next. Maybe he missed something but he was sure that she had kissed him.

His fingers went up to his slightly bruised lips and he felt a small trickle of seemingly warm water, which was actually crimson blood, pour down slightly from his lips. He caught a droplet, realizing it was his blood and not water at all.

He looked up at her with his cobalt eyes, which were strikingly cold, yet her emotions wouldn't and couldn't let that stop her.

She lunged for him again but he easily dodged her, jerking up from his seat and looking at the girl lying in the spot where he had just been.

She looked up and grinned. "I like playing games, Heero." Sylvia said slyly.

'Ugh!' Heero's mind screamed as he flinched outwardly though Sylvia too blind to catch that movement.

"Come here little fox." She said with a grin that made Heero want to wretch at the sight. "Come here to the hunter shall you?"

She bolted up and pounced like a cat towards him, almost tackling him to the floor. Instead he landed right on the sofa where she kissed him heavily on his neck and his face. She left bruises on some places, but blood soon began to form as she began nipping him playfully, but then with more force.

"Get off of me!" He shouted, shoving her forcefully aside as his adrenaline began pumping. He quickly jumped to his feet and rushed for the door, opening it with such force and dashing out of it into the typhoon.

Author's note:

Well, I'm sorry for not updating this and currently it is dubbed as a 1XR fic, but it may change. I wish all of you a happy Halloween and hope y'all get a lot of candy or have a lot of fun. Once again, I'm terribly sorry for taking so long to update but I will update every single one of my stories at least once for this holiday. My little gift to all you great people! Red Tail


	4. Chapter 4

_She bolted up and pounced like a cat towards him, almost tackling him to the floor. Instead he landed right on the sofa where she kissed him heavily on his neck and his face. She left bruises on some places, but blood soon began to form as she began nipping him playfully, but then with more force._

"_Get off of me!" He shouted, shoving her forcefully aside as his adrenaline began pumping. He quickly jumped to his feet and rushed for the door, opening it with such force and dashing out of it into the typhoon…_

Falling into Myself, Chapter Four 

The rain hit him like glass, or ice. It stung him over and over again relentlessly. He didn't stop though, he wouldn't. He let his hands wander up to his neck where he felt the thin trail of blood she had created and quickly let the rain wash it away.

His mahogany hair was even darker now and weighted down, splashing in front of his confused blue eyes. He didn't know what was real and what wasn't, and he didn't care one bit. He ran past the park, past the shops, and past dark alleys. He just ran, running and running.

The whole world blurred around him as the rain lashed violently against him.

"We have to find him." Relena spoke softly over her cup of streaming hot chocolate. She looked at the other three people in front of her and then the two at her side, her brother and Noin. She sighed heavily and looked down back at her mug. She couldn't cry, she wouldn't cry. They would find him and make things right gain.

The roaring wind drew her away from her thoughts as she looked out into the raging storm, which was increasing its intensity every hour at the very least. Her aquamarine eyes looked away sadly as she prayed silently to herself that whatever god watched over Heero, he would be safe. After all, you just don't run into typhoons like that, 'Though,' She thought sadly. 'Heero has always been the reckless one.'

"Hey!" Duo exclaimed after a silence, looking out the window and squinting against the pelting rain that was giving the windows a wash.

"What is it?" Trowa questioned while sipping some green tea he had gotten. His voice said that he didn't really care at all, thinking it was a bird or something.

"Uh…" Duo was about to begin.

"Baka Maxwell!" Wufei shouted as he slapped the back of Maxwell's head and jumped out of his seat, heading towards the door in a rush.

"What was that all about?" Quatre questioned, looking up at the braided teenager over his steaming cup of herbal tea.

"Uh…um…I kinda think that I just saw Heero running by." He said, placing a hand behind his head and wincing.

"Oh…" Relena nodded and smiled. Her grin seemed plastered on her face as she snapped her eyes open and blinked, the words finally registered into her mind. "You WHAT?!" She shouted, jumping out of her seat too and rushing after Wufei into the storm. Of course with this action, her brother jumped out of his seat to follow her and Noin followed after like a chain reaction.

Trowa looked at Quatre and set his drink calmly down, helping the blonde up also as they took off running, leaving money on the table. Duo got to his feet also, ears still ringing slightly.

Then the group all set off into the pouring rain after the reckless brunet pilot Heero Yuy.

TBC

Author's note: Very short and all, sorry for that. . Uh…reviews make me happy? Sorry for not updating for so long, I've been trying to work on other stories. Thank you for your patience.

Red Tail


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